Some hindsight wisdom from a mama to five amazing young adults…
My Love Letter To You, Mama...
It’s important that you don’t get too attached. Yes, love them fiercely, with all your heart. Yes, and… remember–it’s a healthy detachment you’re aiming for as your littles are born and you watch them grow at a pace that seems to accelerate with each passing year.
Imagine: You’re standing beside your children, watching each of them climb into a colorful hot air balloon. Before you know it you’ve cut the cords and you're watching them lift off into the sky.
You’ve prepared them for this day their whole lives. They’ve prepared you, too.
So what is it that makes it possible for a Mama to love fiercely with a healthy detachment?
For parents, HEALTHY DETACHMENT is intentional parenting that…
focuses on your children as distinct and separate beings from you–each with unique DNA, personalities, likes and dislikes and, and, and… You get the idea.
understands—eventually your children may develop (at least a few)) different values than you live by, values that they’ve formed from their own unique ways of interacting with the world around them. The goal is to be consistently living from your own values, holding the values most important for your family as a whole, and being intentional around giving your children developmentally appropriate amounts of autonomy and choice as they grow.
detaches from specific outcomes and expectations around their behaviors, their futures, and who they will become into adulthood.
lives in the present moment, responding to your children as they are now–sitting or standing right in front of you.
believes that your children are each unique and amazing–naturally resourceful, creative and whole beings.
remembers reciprocity as you parent, recognizing that your children have as much to teach and give you as you have to teach and give to them.
I’ll add that our five continue to inspire me, to show me how to live untethered—loving one another fiercely, while keeping detached from any unhealthy attachments that keep any of us from rising onward to new adventures.
Moms/Dads, intentional parenting isn't for the faint-of-heart. Whether you're experiencing fatigue, burnout, confusion or you're feeling disempowered--you're not alone. Let's connect to create an individual or group coaching package designed to intentionally empower you for the long haul.
Meanwhile, do your best to maintain a healthy detachment--after all, that balloon will be launching before you know it.