Love and Icky
Updated: Aug 17
We have everything we need. We have our fierce Mama/Papa Bear love. We have our wisdom, our inner Sage, our guiding light, our knowing. Sometimes we're guiding our children, and sometimes our children are guiding us. We are enough.
YOU, Mama/Papa. YOU are enough. You have everything you need.
Still--if you’re at all like me--you also have something powerful, something you don't need. This voice showed up during your childhood and meant well, thinking it was keeping you safe. It's the voice of your inner critic—a self-appointed Judge-y voice pointing out your mistakes and filling you with Mama doubts.
I promise you, you don’t need your Judge, Mama. She’s not serving you. She’s distracting you away from your purpose, melting you into a puddle of uncertainty.
My own Judge/Inner Critic has been with me as long as I can remember. Recently I've realized that her voice and her presence bring with them a kind of "icky" sensation that feels diminishing and limiting, leaving me feeling deflated--like the air has gone out of my tires. It helps me to be aware when I'm surrounded by the Judge's voice, when my insides and my body feel punctured and--well, icky.
When Icky shows up, it's time for me to notice, to sit up and listen to what I need to reground myself. To get out of that part of my brain where self-judgment lives. Or, to put it another way--to get out of my head and into my body.
Here's where I'll mention Shirzad Chamine's work on Positive Intelligence. Oh my. I'll let you find his book or go to his website, https://www.positiveintelligence.com/.
I'm finding that it's essential to ground myself within seconds of becoming aware of my Icky. For me, that may be to sing, dance, stretch, or perhaps close my eyes and focus on noticing the sounds around me--sounds I wasn't tuned into before I closed my eyes and really listened. There are a whole lot more ways that you'll discover in using your five senses to ground yourself and get out of your head. That's where you may want to check out more of Shirzad's work. The main goal is to ground yourself in your body, in your five senses. They're more powerful than we realize.
Once I've grounded myself, there's often lingering signs of Icky. Sometimes she’s a bit stubborn. Some days may be Ickier than others and it takes more grounding and support to shut her down.
A special shoutout to my creative Coach Collaborator, Carla Yetter. You'll find her at https://www.ideasalivellc.com/. Her drawing below is from last week’s collaborative session. I shared my perspectives, thoughts, and insights around my internal Judge—she listened, sketched, added her own connections/insights and asked powerful questions. Then she asked me to stand up straight and tall, into my spine. She had me declare my real truth instead of my Judge’s version of the truth. Later she sent me the magical image you see below. Wow.
Stand tall. Literally. And when you feel yourself melting, listen to those voices you trust that support your spine. Refuse to shrink or melt. What’s here for you today, Mamas? What kind of support will help you stand tall? YOU are enough. You have everything you need, but you don't need ICKY.